История любви Гали и Коли (Даши)

ТрансвестизмК этому времени мы с Колей встречались уже больше года. Для него и для меня это был уже второй брак. Коля был женат 27 лет, я была замужем 14 лет. С молодости он успешно занимался тяжёлой атлетикой, работал на стройках, в лесу, открыл свой бизнес. Я 11 лет работала в социальной сфере, занималась с детьми, которые покинули школу, трудными подростками, молодыми правонарушителями. В данный момент я работаю менеджером по квалификации в небольшой фирме.  Мы с Колей любим гулять под луной, слушать ирландскую музыку, шоппинг и разговаривать до утра.

В первый раз Коля рассказал мне о Даше в День Святого Валентина. Когда мы легли в постель, Коля, выключив свет, нервным голосом сказал, что хочет рассказать мне о чём-то важном. Притронувшись к нему, я почувствовала, как он дрожит, как он натянут и нервничает. Коля сказал мне, что ему очень важно понять некую часть себя, которую он отрицал годами. Я узнала, как однажды его мать застала его в одежде сестры, какие унижения и оскорбления он тогда перенёс. Это повторилось снова, когда его бывшая жена вернулась домой раньше обычного.

ТрансвестизмСлушая его, я поняла, как важно было ему рассказать мне об этом. Я поддерживала разговор, больше от неожиданности, что у Коли оказалась вторая сторона, про которую я ничего не знала — его вторую сторону звали Даша. И ещё, потому что любила его.

После нашего разговора я поняла, что со мной тогда говорила больше Даша, чем Коля, я хотела дать ей возможность выйти и показать себя. Мне самой было интересно узнать, как я буду себя чувствовать при этом. В воскресенье я помогла Коле сбрить бороду. Как она разительно изменился! Он помолодел лет на 15, хотя мне и было непривычно видеть его таким.

В понедельник я помогла Коле, вернее Даше, с её макияжем. Надо признать, что получилось здорово, она была симпатична мне. Но другая часть моей души не могла принять и понять происходящее. Что случилось с нами? Разве это теперь мой муж?  Всё же я чувствовала свою любовь к нему.

В ту ночь я была взвинчена до предела. Я оплакивала того мужчину, который был со мной, которым был Коля. Пришла растерянность и неуверенность. Я хотела помочь любимому человеку, а в итоге не могла понять саму себя, эмоции, нахлынувшие на меня. Даша смогла успокоить и убедить меня в том, что всё будет хорошо, что это медленный процесс, но надежда не должна нас покидать.

Я сумела понять, что все мои эмоции на самом деле порождены моим же проблемным, узким восприятием мира. Я никогда до этого не задумывалась о широте своего мышления. Мне понадобилось время, чтобы увидеть, что же изменилось. Да, мой Коля теперь выглядел и вёл себя как Даша, но его любовь…Его любовь ко мне была такой же сильной.

Я стала ближе узнавать Дашу, она оказалась такой же мягкой и заботливой как Коля, если даже не больше. Такой же любящей и нежной. Просто некоторые моменты стали другими, изменились в несколько необычную сторону, согласно ее теперешнему поведению.

ТрансвестизмЯ сумела осознать всё глубину чувств Даши, которая смогла довериться мне и впустить меня в своё личное пространство. Я приняла то, что Коля и Даша – один человек. Я стала стремиться к тому, чтобы ближе узнать Дашу, и поняла, что я сама стала лучше воспринимать окружающий мир и отношения людей в нём.

Теперь я с Дашей считаем, что разделение и двойственность – главные причины  бед и страданий на Земле. Любой человек должен научиться понимать и принимать других людей и даже все стороны их личностей. Если моему мужу хочется стать Дашей и вести себя как женщина значит, так он и должен поступить.

Разве можно говорить о настоящей любви, если человек не может сказать другому: «Я люблю и принимаю тебя таким, каким ты есть и всё, что есть в тебе»? Ведь иначе что такое любовь? Что мы понимаем под эти словом. Слова « Я тебя люблю» могут означать «Будь со мной» или  «Будь таким, как я хочу», а может быть «Чувствуй меня как я тебя». Какой же должна быть любовь, чтобы исполнились все наши желания?

Я целую Колю и Дашу и каждый раз ощущаю радость от того как они становятся сами собой, тем, кем чувствуют себя в этот момент. Теперь мы чувствуем взаимную радость от эмоций друг друга. Наша нежность стала более возвышенной, чем раньше.

Теперь я знаю, что люблю Дашу так же сильно, как любила Колю. С ней у нас всё происходит совсем по-другому. И я точно знаю, что она помогает мне лучше понять и узнать самую себя.

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